The self proclaimed historian of his time. He talks a lot.
|Full Name||Nern Guan|
|Weapon Types||Handgun / Six Shooter|
|Armor Types||Accessory / Shawl / Small Shield / Bald|
|Skill Types||Topics / Powers|
- "Oh hello there! My name is Nern. I'm considered the greatest historian of our time... I've gathered a wealth of knowledge about Olathe and what happened here. Many tales... Would you like to hear? Hmm... I wish you were more enthusiastic... Oh well, I'll tell you anyway. Let's see.... Oh right! It all started with what I like to call, THE FLASH. I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea. I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul. Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle. You know, like a plastic bottle? Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass. Why not just drink it from the bottle? I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass? But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky bitch... Anyway, I'll save that story for later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea. From a glass of course, ho ho! When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before. Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair! That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! A rock under my rocking chair! What a day! I decided it was time for bed, I had had a little bit too much excitement for one day! Hoho! I slid into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and said my prayers. As I was climbing into bed I noticed my wife, God rest her soul, brushing her hair in the bathroom. As I peered across the hall my body swelled up with emotion...
"Why can't I be married to an attractive woman?" "Is it me?" "My bank account?" I'm a tall guy, I workout forty minutes a week... Is that not enough? Now my neighbor at the time, Tom Forknight, was very short. His wife, Karen Forknight-Plateburger... Yeah, one of THOSE women. Well, she was more attractive than my wife. I'd say she was a soft six, whereas my wife was a hard four. What's the deal? I thought women liked tall men? Why was Karen with him? Anyway my horse of a wife, God rest her soul, crawled into bed next to me. She decided to leave the bedside light on so she could read her book. It was one of her romance novels again... Give me a break... As if I don't already feel inadequate enough... Not only do I have to compete with Tom, now I have to deal with these fictional hunks! Ay yai yai! At this point I had already suppressed the urges of intimacy, I rolled over and tried to sleep. Her bedside light was only of minor annoyance. I was able to drift off... Then I woke up to a big flash of light. That's about it. I can tell by the way you're walking away that you don't want to leave... If you really want to hear another story I'll tell you. Once upon a hot summer night. Sometime in July... Was it July? My local grocery store sells really good eggs in July. I don't know why. Do chickens operate better in heat? Fireworks maybe? I don't know. I don't want to get off topic. Point is, the eggs that Summer were marvelous! Anyway, my wife and I, God rest her soul, went to a BBQ that night. It was held at Dale Spooner's house. Well, his backyard... Conny Spooner doesn't want people in her home, I think she's just an uptight bitch. So at this BBQ I see none other than... That's right, Tom Forknight... Now earlier in the day wife, God rest her soul, had made potato salad for the BBQ. Personally I hate potato salad, I'm a mashed kind of fellow. Hoho! So I sat in the TV room avoiding her till the BBQ. Once we were at the party, I made sure to distance myself from my dumb potato bitch wife. God rest her soul, I just didn't want anyone to think I would associate with someone that would bring a potato salad! Anyway, Tom and his above mediocre wife were already there. And get this, they brought a fruit salad! With whipped cream! The nerve of those Forknights! Needless to say I gave my wife, God rest her soul, a couple choice words About whipped cream! Versus potato salad! God dammit! Son of a bitch! A real tongue lashing! Geez, you're kind of smothering me. I'll talk to you later."
He is an excellent support party member for a large amount of the game and provides a lot of restoration Topics for the gang, being able to restore HP, SP and TP in large amounts while holding his own with offensive skills.
Name: Nern Xiao Guan
Fighting Art: Gunman
Past Occupation Librarian
Likes: The view from his porch
Favorite Food: Whipped Cream
Most Hated Thing: Dale Spooner
The annoying neighbor next door. Blessed with the gift of gab, cursed by the same gift. His parents emigrated from China.
Appearance and PersonalityEdit
Nern is a librarian of Chinese descent and ceaslessly talks about his wife, God rest her soul, and his neighbours and past life. Despite talking about his wife, God rest her soul, most of the time, he seems to hate her with a passion.
As a self-proclaimed historian, Nern provides some exposition on the mysterious White Flash, describing it as a sudden "bright light" which brought an end to society in Olathe.
How to invite to PartyEdit
Nern is located at Nern's Cliff west of the Mountain, through the bottom left door in the Area 1 Crossroads. This door is the one located under the word "Let's" in the graffiti "Let's find her". Once spoken to on his cliff, return the way you came and you will find Nern again, or rather, he will find you. He joins your party after another story.
Nern is a fairly useful support ally, in addition to healing HP and inducing fear and sleep, he has the unique abilities to also recover SP and TP. This means that Nern is capable of replenishing his own SP endlessly so he can use his support moves for even the longest of battles.
However, even when his support abilities are not needed, Nern has average to strong attacks. He uses a revolver pistol that does decent damage, although with loose SP he can contribute a fairly decent Finger Beam attack. With this in mind, he is a good support, but also can dish as much damage as his comrades.
|Skill Name||Description||Level Learned||MP Cost|
|Shoot||Damages the enemy.||1||0|
|Finger Beam||A concentration of energy blasted from the finger.||8||15|
|Finger Beam 2||A concentration of energy blasted from the finger.||14||20|
|Finger Beam 3||A concentration of energy blasted from the finger.||18||25|
|Finger Beam 4||A concentration of energy blasted from the finger.||19||30|
|Finger Beam 5||A concentration of energy blasted from the finger.||23||35|
|Finger Beam 6||A concentration of energy blasted from the finger.||25||40|
|Skill Name||Description||Level Learned||MP Cost|
|Discuss Techniques||Tell your friend some of your favorite techniques. Increases TP of one ally.||1||10|
|Discuss Powers||Tell your friend some of your Superhero moves. Increases SP of one ally.||4||15|
|Ghost Story||Tell a spooky tale to induce fear...||6||22|
|Discuss Health||Tell your friends about the importance of health. Increases HP of one ally.||12||20|
|Insult||Say something unsavory to induce a blind rage.||15||10|
|True Ghost Story||Tell a very spooky tale to induce fear...||16||38|
|Bore||Drone on about something no one cares about. Often puts people to sleep.||17||30|
|Dirty Insult||Say something very unsavory to induce a blind rage.||20||12|
|Really Bore||Drone on about something REALLY dumb. Often puts people to sleep.||21||50|
Default Equipment Edit
- As Austin said in an interview, Nern Guan was supposed to be a reference to the name of the lead actor of the movie "Fight Among Supers".
- Nern's Finger Beam attack may reference Yusuke Urameshi's Spirit Gun attack from Yu Yu Hakusho.
|Brad Armstrong • Rando • Buzzo • Buddy • Lisa • Marty Armstrong • Columbo|
|Terry Hintz • Crisp Ladaddy • RT • Rooster Coleman • Olan Hoyt • Nern Guan • Rage Ironhead • Percy Monsoon • Mad Dog • Shocklord • Fardy Hernandez • Queen Roger • Carp • Harvey Alibastor • Clint Olympic • Buckets • Buffalo Van Dyke • Tiger Man • Ollie Nickels • Geese Thompson • Dick Dickson • Jack • Sonny Backluwitz • Yazan Barghouti • Beastborn • Fly Minetti • Ajeet Mandeep • Garth • Bo Wyatt • Birdie Hall|
|Dr. Yado • Nancy Yado • Richard "Rick" Weeks • Tony "Sticky" Angoneli|